Approval or attention seeking?

by | Dec 31, 2017

pup seeking approval

Jumping up is communication from your dog.
If we listen carefully we can perhaps hear what they are trying to say.

Jumping up is nearly always viewed, by both positive and negative trainers as A Major Sin. It certainly rates near the top of the list of most dog owners as an undesirable behaviour. The behaviour can vary from a flying, direct midriff punch, scratching your legs, or eye level shoulder blasts. But if we could empty our minds of the traditional view that This Is a Bad Thing, we may begin to see the behaviour as a sign or symptom of an underlying need that is being dismissed.

Often jumping up is viewed as “attention seeking” or “lask of impulse control”, which expert advice tell us needs suppression as opposed to attention. Our dogs are not there to be “seen but not heard”, why are we suppressing a desire for interaction? A common protocol for reinforcement trainers: “cue sit, good sit, feed sit”, or punishment trainers: “ignore the dog for demanding attention as any attention may be viewed as reinforcing”. Can you imagine turning up at a much-anticipated event and everyone turns their back on you? Being ignored will either deeply upset you, and at the very least may drive a more demanding need to be noticed.

Jumping up is a side effect of the physical difference in our height. Pups greet the faces of their seniors, often with paws, but they don’t greet their butt or tail – always the face. Because our face is waaay up the in the sky, and often facing away from the dog, the pup is driven to place feet on us to bring that delicious and important face downwards.

Pups greet the faces of their seniors, often with paws, but they don’t greet their butt or tail – always the face.

Let’s look at each individual situation where jumping up may occur.

Firstly, when we greet the dog after an absence, our reunion. The dog will want to re-connect, to know our relationship is on a good basis. This is super-important to them, their lives often revolve around that relationship, otherwise why live with people? They will ask what sort of day we have had and want to tell us about their day – why would you want to ignore that? Imagine the child coming home from school bursting with news about their day and you turn away and ignore them? Stuffing their mouth with cake because you are too busy is not going to satisfy their need for You, no one else, to give them some focus and listen to them. Cake is not a solution, it is a cheap, avoidance ploy, it is you they want. They want to feel that you value them, which hardly takes more than a minute, 60 seconds. Are dogs any different?

Feeding in the sit is not always a solution from pup’s perspective

The Visitors jump-on

If any half intelligent puppy watches our behave it certainly appear that we jump on people in a big way – lots of hugs, kisses, raised voices and excitement. Are they supposed to ignore this or attempt to mimic our emotional responses? Greeting by sniffing genitals is appropriate for loose dogs on their own agenda, but I would add the rule “only when offered”. If I do not offer my genitals for sniffing then good manners dictate you Do Not sniff!

If your dog is turning to Strangers for reinforcement then this needs to be addressed with the earliest possible intervention. Strangers should not be greeted – I cannot see a future where you would wish your dog to go to strangers for reinforcement or interaction. The future is a dog that runs up to everyone and anyone uninvited. Often the behaviour begins in the attractively packaged “look-at-me-I-have-a-puppy” invitation, and the stranger obliges our need for attention and interaction by greeting the puppy. Where is this going? Do you want your class time to be a struggle to secure your dog’s focus to you? Because this time last year when they were cute and cuddly everyone interacted with your puppy and proudly you opened up to this. Do you want to lose your dog in the park when they see strangers? I would suggest that many of the adult dogs I see for rehabilitation that have anxieties about strangers touching them have a history of being fondled as puppies and had no option to move away or say “no thanks”.

Friendly dogs

There is also a genetic component, we have selectively drifted towards “friendly” dogs, and I speak from experience that this is not a blessing. Having a dog that regards the whole world as their pack can be a long-term nuisance. Ideally, we need to breed, develop and reinforce a dog who is neutral to strangers, friendly with friends that you invite for interaction.

Pleeease ….

We can follow this with “you need to listen to me” jump up. This you will remember as a child – the adults are talking and you NEED the bathroom. Usually this does not suddenly occur so good manners can be employed to request attention when there is a natural break in the conversation. This reminds me of the waitress/server in a restaurant, it is good manners to wait for the eaters to give you eye contact, not to interrupt their conversation to ask “can I get you anything?” Now that IS negative attention seeking.

Probably the most important Jump up is the moment when you are breaking off from training and the dogs jumps at you. Very often when I see this it is often a release from some sort of stress. The dogs are working hard to stay within the parameters of our training, but as training ends and they are no longer “under cue” the need to jump emerges. It could be a simple need for reassurance, a statement of confusion, or a celebration of getting it right. It should not be ignored or punished, but take time to listen because this is the healthiest way for your dog to try to communicate.

Different appropriate protocols

Each situation needs to be examined for the underlying reason. Jumping-up has a clear function, or purpose, for the dog.

Greeting, or re-uniting after being apart, should be indulgent, sincere and full of affection, but not crazy arousal and high pitch celebration. This is setting the dog up for exuberant jumping and barking. Their arousal is understandable if they have been alone for several hours, the solitary situation has ended which is a reason to jump for joy.

Make sure both your hands are free of shopping or coats or keys, gently hold the collar to prevent getting a black eye, and bend over to calmly offer proximity to your face for some “air-licking”.

For health reasons I don’t like dog-gob all over my face (read: nasty red weals erupting), so the proximity licking will satisfy the dog’s need for social approval without the need to make you regurgitate. Perhaps add some very slow hand stroking as well to induce some calmness. The face proximity is only suitable for safe dogs, it is not appropriate to ask strangers to perform this, or children. Face proximity is what causes the jumping – the need for social approval from your face. If bending down for this is not practical, set up a platform where the small dog can jump onto for that precious moment of reunion

For the strangers passing by, put your dog into park, and have the wherewithal to ask them to pass on by, after verbally admiring your canine friend at a reasonable distance. Strangers should never presume to touch your dog.

For the Visitors and Friends, again ask them to give you a few seconds to park your dog, and explain to them the air licking possibilities, or preferably a gentle offering of the palm of hand to the side of the face. This can over a longer period of practice develop into hand greeting rather than face greeting which is my preferred behaviour when several need to be valued and reconnected at the same time. If your dog is physically very pushy with the greeting the parking (standing on the lead) will help reduce the demanding nature and teach them that their need for approval will be met, and does not need to be demanded. Good manners will be rewarded.

Completely separately you can teach your dog to allow husbandry from strangers, there are plenty of training cues when you handle them to position, or place on grooming tables. This is learning tolerance of handling, not greeting.


  • Ignoring or suppressing the need for approval can make the behaviour more frenetic, even with reinforcement for self-control in the sit you may not be satisfying their need. Take an extra minute for each re-union opportunity to value your dog, without excitement and notice how the need to jump and be noticed reduces.
  • Look to the future of a behaviour, see where that delightful puppy behaviour is heading and question whether this is an appropriate behaviour for the adult dog. Stranger friendly puppies are attractive, stranger friendly adults may not be.
  • Maintain your contract with your dog before social pressure from visitors. You can explain the protocol to people, they can wait. Your priority is to employ the protocol, parked greeting, for the dog first.



Build the Learning

Lifelong skills built in activities and play. A dog that is curious, confident, resilient with a natural enthusiasm for learning.

rewards skills

Learn about the fascinating landscape of rewards and how to make them the centre of your training and relationship.

Management or Training

Find a pathway to suit your lifestyle of living with dogs. When management temporarilly supports the learning, or choose training.

learn well
learn it once

Setter Members

Access to The Sett community and groups

Discount for all courses and videos 50%

Archives of previous courses and books

Share your learning, upgrade your thinking


Key Reading

Location is Their Cue

We begin teaching the dog to go to a target, such as a mat or platform and in this process our focus is on the outcome – the dog can place feet on the object or settle down. But at the same time this learning is happening the dog is also noting the location: where this is happening in this room, in the house, relative to the food-machine (you).

Cue Seeking is Connection

Connection is very individual and to be authentic we have to observe, slow down, understand our dogs and meet them where they are.

The Right Bed in the Right Spot

Resting and sleeping are not necessarily the same state. Good sleep where we feel safe and comfortable is important for us all.

Play Health Check

When we look at play or food delivery as an ACTIVITY we share the same mindset as the dog: is there pleasure to be experienced?

Since the Dawn of Dog Training

The old joke reminds us that the only thing dog trainers can agree on is that their training method in the best one. It becomes increasingly difficult to know which method is “right” and whether it will suit the dog, the situation and trainer’s skills.

Back to Basics?

The word “basic” is often derided as synonymous with “shallow,” but in its origins it is the very opposite: foundational, profound, supportive.

The Whole of The Dog

We cannot divide training into compartments of fast recalls, or sit for greeting, or loose leads as everything we ask of the dogs is interrelated.

Not Today and Not for My Sheepdogs

Standard protocols of extinction, impulse control, counterconditioning are quickly grabbed off the shelf as satisfactory solutions. These solutions are unlikely to help your collie, your sheepdog as the focus is heavily on suppression of who they are and why they live.

Do you see what I see

Doing better is the reward from doing the work. This work needs to be the right work at the right time with the right intent done in the right way.

The Cost of Cherrypicking

When we admit that the ideas we’re sharing are derived from the work of others, we demonstrate our own commitment to learning

Top Training

Evidence of learning

When we use the words “teach” or “train” child, person or dog, the operative term implies that the process is under the ownership of the teacher or trainer. What your teacher thinks you have learned may not be what you actually learned.

One dog watching

The other dog working
or ….how to train the spectators to quietly rest and watch whilst you work, play, teach a single member of the group

The Power of Passive Learning

Active learning: the learner takes active choice of what to do, how to respond, is attentive and making conscious effort
Passive learning: little conscious effort, reward is delivered for minimum effort.

A Day of Learning

A no-training day does not mean he gets a lazy day lying idly in the sun. Learning is still happening and this is significant and important for his development.

Surprising Puppy

Surprising Puppy. With obnoxious moments. After introducing the obnoxious puppy as a youngster I am knocked over by the Delightful Young Man he is turning into……

Obnoxious Puppy

The delight of your new puppy is probably going to last a few weeks, maybe four if you are lucky. When 12 weeks old hits, and you will feel a slam, the Delight is going to demonstrate ungrateful, obnoxious traits.


Preparing before you train and the final check list

More than words

We expect our dogs to understand the meaning of words and signals, but if you have ever worked with computers you will know that what you say doesn’t always turn into an actionable response.

Not all lures contain food

“the direct use of the reinforcer to elicit the behaviour”
This should always be foremost in our mind, in that many alternatives lures are available.

Remote lures

Lures at a distance, separated from hands, pockets . Using reward stations, patterns, containers

News on courses, articles and stuff you don't want to miss.