Isolation hell or solitude heaven?
Strange times often give birth to new insights and understanding. Certainly a new aspect of empathy as we experience social situations that may not be of our choice.
It takes me no difficulty to imagine a lockdown may be hell for one person and heaven for another. Perhaps the feelings we are experiencing can be used to bring understanding, and more empathy, for our dogs?
Isolation may be a lifestyle choice for one person, where solitude allows for their particular personality to be comfortable. We use the terms “comfortable with their own company”, or “self-entertaining”. For another person the sense of exclusion from their friends, family and opportunities to integrate can be pure hell.
Most of us enjoy a balance of the two, where we can choose to integrate a certain times of choose to walk in isolation with dogs for company. The key point here is “choose”. We choose what company to keep, when and for how long and in what format. Those choices are rarely experienced by dogs that are forced into social situations of their owner’s preferences.
A passing social cartoon sparked this thinking. The guy was running to the window to see the rubbish collection. Not something he would have ever normally considered the highlight of his day, or a reason to leave a comfortable chair. He had empathy for his dog – who runs to the window at every sound to check out the events in the street.
When you are forced into isolation, the small events that would never have had significance bloom into necessary engagement. That engagement may be a desperate need for interaction or an alarm of potential threat. That dog that seems so “friendly” with all dogs desperately needing some interaction because of living in forced isolation ?
Is the dog comfortably friendly, or is this just a need as a result of the isolation for the other 23 hours of his day? Has your view of social events taken a change because your choices have been removed or are you able to adapt your social needs to a different format?
A two meter social gap could suit us perfectly or be a frustration. Acceptable queuing distances have changed, possibly permanently. Our awareness and understanding is in a learning phase. Perhaps we are realising that our social norms were just something we were used to, but not really aware of the risks?
Social distancing for dogs is normal. They do not choose to hug, stand closely to strangers and would never subscribe to queuing.
Isolation by choice is quite different to isolation out of necessity. If we know that everyone is experiencing the same conditions we can cope with this separation. But consider that we are the only ones forced to miss out on the events we normally enjoy and those events are continuing without us. The dog show, the classes, the wedding, the party – all happening and we have been excluded. The isolation then begins to stink.
A dog can enjoy social isolation in their own small world. Provided their needs are met, companionship that doesn’t drive them under the sofa, opportunities to play, sniff, hunt, enjoy food, chewing, comfort and good sleep. Their stress may be entirely in the outside world, where they are forced into social situations not of their choice, doing activities they find stressful and simply being away from home causes an anxiety they cannot resolve until they have their own car.
A dog can find social isolation pure hell. Where their physical needs are met but they never get to play, run, enjoy the wind, hunt with company. Being home alone is an exclusion from everything they enjoy. The weekly rubbish collection is their moment of extreme desperation for interaction.
The conditions we find ourselves in can be turned into opportunities for discovery, learning new skills, creativity and adaptations that we had never imagined. Or quite the opposite. We are resilient as are dogs, but the elements that contribute to that resilience are not present for every person or every dog.
Having a choice to enjoy solitude can make it a pleasure, having a choice who to socialise with, and at what distance is a right most of us enjoy. Becoming aware of our privileges should make us more sensitive to the lack of privileges our dogs have to adapt to. Perhaps we can help them have a wider range of choices where we can.
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Very insightful. A perfect time to remind us how powerfully choice weighs into an individual’s perception of an event. Lack of choice can result in an intended reinforcer becoming an aversive.
We can choose to learn from our experiences and emotions during this pandemic, using that knowledge to improve our human empathy for our dogs and for all species that share this world. We can choose to create our own silver lining.
I love to read my dog and read her decision.
It certainly is an interesting time and one I hope we use to reflect and learn from. We, us and our dogs, are wonderfully varied, if we can learn to see and understand this what a nicer world it will be.
Thanks for another insightful article Kay.